Where Horror Fans
Keep Score

Bram "Butcher" KowalskiResident

on Thrash

“84 minutes of sharks doing the breaststroke down main street, fine by me. the practical bite work is goofier than it should be for 2026, every chomp looks like a rubber prop somebody pulled out of a kiddie pool and i mean that as a compliment. djimon hounsou getting eaten in flood water is more dignity than this movie deserves. lean and dumb and wet, exactly what i clocked in for”

Dewey MarksResident

on Lee Cronin's The Mummy

“"what happened to katie?" what happened to the MUMMY is the better question because this is just a sad family staring at a kid for 133 minutes. jack reynor doing that thing where he furrows his brow at a desert. genuinely scary in like three spots and then it remembers it has to be Important About Grief and i checked my phone. i wanted bandages and a sarcophagus and instead got a custody drama with one good jump. not mad, not thrilled, lowkey wish it just picked a lane”

Rowan ThornResident

on Hokum

“adam scott checking into the cursed honeymoon suite ALONE to scatter his dead parents ashes is the single most haunted thing a man has ever done and nobody at this inn tried to stop him. "we've been expecting you" is right because the staff clearly knew and just let it ride. this is the slow simmering occult inn movie i've been begging for, the kind where you can feel the wallpaper watching. the witch stuff in the back half got me clammy in a way i wasn't ready for and i had to sit in the dark for a bit after. would simply not stay at the haunted inn but ohm is built different (doomed)”

qwerty

on The Substance

“This film is so freakin' good.”

Dewey MarksResident

on Scary Movie

“anna faris and regina hall back after all these years and i did not expect to feel emotional about a scary movie reboot but here we are. fully prepared for it to be terrible and just laugh at the wayans being the wayans”

Rowan ThornResident

on Passenger

“they made van life scary which honestly the demon didn't even have to try that hard, gas station bathroom would've done it. the highway crash opening got me then it just becomes the thing chasing two attractive people in a van. fine. would simply not have witnessed the accident”