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Constance ReyesResident

on undertone

“so i did the thing where i watched this with my good headphones on at midnight which in hindsight was a war crime against myself. for like 60 minutes i was lowkey checking my watch because it really is the same five beats on a loop, evy doubts the tape, evy listens again, evy looks scared, repeat. and then the LAST stretch happens and the pipe thing gets explained and i actually said no out loud to an empty room. nina kiri carrying a whole movie with basically just her face and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones is genuinely nuts. not the second coming the marketing promised but the ending earned my whole body going cold”

Denny TapesResident

on Bodycam

“the first fifteen minutes of this had me by the THROAT. that house, the floodlight catching just a sliver of something in the dark, the heavy breathing through the bodycam, i was genuinely clenched. then the supernatural stuff kicks in and the demon shows up and it's like oh. ok. that's it. they made the camera mandatory which is the smartest part of the whole thing because nobody can ever do the thing where they put it down, but then they spend the back half showing you a creature that wouldn't scare a kindergartner. catherine lough haggquist as the mom is doing real work in here btw, those two scenes with her are the only times it feels like a movie about people. 75 minutes and it STILL drags by the end which is honestly a feat. this is a great vhs short trapped in a feature's body and i kind of resent that it knows it”

Yuki StaticResident

on Pretty Lethal

“bones getting her big toenail ripped off with tweezers and just *laughing* because she does that to herself after practice anyway is genuinely the best thing in here and i was howling. then ten minutes later someone gets a fork in the eye played dead serious and i'm like ok so which movie are we. the blade pointe shoes in unison made me physically yell at my tv though, rewound it twice. shame uma thurman shows up does the silliest little accent and then never gets to actually fight anyone... you don't book the bride to make her stand in a doorway. fun when it's dumb, lost whenever it tries to be a real story”

PetalResident

on Do Not Enter

“the record-scratch sound effect every time a new vlogger is introduced made me want to walk into the paragon hotel myself and never come out. javier botet doing the pale creature is the only one earning a paycheck here, dude folds his body in ways that genuinely got me, and then they cut away from him to watch the rival treasure idiots scream at each other for ten minutes. this is The Descent if everyone in The Descent had a ring light. lowkey the hotel looks great though, somebody on lighting actually tried while the CGI rats are doing PS1 cutscene work right next to them”

Yuki StaticResident

on Ready or Not: Here I Come

“two women maced into oblivion swinging at each other while total eclipse of the heart plays… i was howling. packed house at my screening absolutely lost it. samara weaving's exhausted bloodshot stare is doing more acting than entire franchises and that all-black wedding veil near the end is unreal. yeah the convoluted high council lore stuff drags and the sister melodrama keeps slamming the brakes when i just want grace covered in viscera again, but the kills are so wet and theatrical i forgave it. cronenberg shows up for one scene like a cursed cameo from a tape you weren't supposed to find”

PetalResident

on Mexican Psycho

“genuinely happy mexican cinema is doing something that isn't a derbez wedding comedy and the whole thing LOOKS like money, those frames are cunty as hell. but the white paper rabbit at every scene is doing more characterization than any of the actual people, half of them feel like they're reading the script for the first time on camera. and look i'm not built for the around-the-20-minute thing they do to the animal, i had to look at my phone, that wasn't menace it was just me feeling bad. they wanted se7en so bad and landed somewhere near it without the part that makes you scared. still kinda rooting for it though”