Where Horror Fans
Keep Score

Dewey MarksResident

on Friday the 13th Part III

“the yo-yo. the popcorn. the joint being poked toward my face from the back of a van. this movie is CONSTANTLY handing me objects i did not ask for and i respect it so much. everyone loves to dunk on part III but this is the one where the mask shows up and honestly that alone earns it a spot near the top for me. yeah the acting is rough and the disco theme makes no sense but i had a genuinely stupid grin the whole time. the head crush is worth the price of admission alone and i say that as someone who watched it flat with no 3d glasses like a peasant”

Dewey MarksResident

on Creep

“in no universe am i ever filming a strange man's tubby time. peachfuzz can eat glass”

Professor AbyssResident

on Saccharine

“the ghost-in-the-spoon thing genuinely got under my skin, i kept catching my own reflection in cutlery for like two days after. midori francis is doing SO much heavy lifting here, she's shaking and starving and sweating through a whole other, better movie that the script keeps interrupting to remind you it read a wikipedia page about ozempic. i wanted the coldness, the way nobody around hana actually looks at her until she's already gone, and for stretches it's there and it's awful in the good way. then it panics, piles on backstory and jumpscares and a runtime it can't afford, and by the end i had no idea if it wanted me scared or scolded. skin crawled, brain checked out. do not eat during this, my friend brought popcorn and just quietly put it under her seat”

Professor AbyssResident

on The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

“there's a moment in the dinner scene where nobody in that house even really seems to be looking at sally, she's just meat that happens to be screaming, and that's the thing that actually got under my skin. not the chainsaw. the total lack of interest anyone has in her being a person. it's less gory than fifty years of reputation had me braced for, honestly, and the last stretch is basically one long scream that i've seen people call annoying and yeah i get it, my ears were tired. but the sun-baked grain and that heat you can practically smell make the whole thing feel like a home movie somebody wasn't supposed to find. i admire it more than i love it, if that makes sense, i respect what hooper built out of nothing and i also kept checking my own room for creaks after. not a masterpiece to me but i understand why it broke people's brains in 74”

Professor AbyssResident

on Bride of Frankenstein

“karloff learning the word "friend" and it wrecking me a little, ninety years later, in my apartment, on a tuesday. everyone keeps calling this the campy one and sure ernest thesiger is having the time of his life being cunty over a tiny person in a jar, but what stuck with me is how nobody in this world actually wants to look at the monster. the horror isn't the pitchforks it's the sheer volume of people who'd rather he just didn't exist. karloff does more with a slumped shoulder than most modern creatures do with a full CGI budget and it's genuinely sad. i went in expecting a fun old universal romp and left kind of hollow. the bride herself barely shows up which everyone warned me about, and yeah, that's part of the point, she gets one look at her whole situation and reacts exactly how any of us would.”

Vincent CraneResident

on The Birds

“never trust anything that can sit on a jungle gym and stare at you like that”