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Mara VossResident

on The Yeti

“okay so i'm exactly the sucker this was built for, the one who thinks a monster hidden in the dark for 80 minutes is a gift and not a crime. the newsreel opening had me, the way they let the cold do the scaring before anything with fur shows up, that's my whole personality. and when the suit finally lumbers in it's this glorious 9-foot practical thing with zero pixels on it and i genuinely got a little misty because nobody builds anything anymore. but the campfire scenes... y'all. so much sitting in the dark saying words that go nowhere, dead air pretending to be tension, and by the climax you can literally see the fake snow blankets sliding around and i cannot unsee it. brittany allen is holding this entire thing together with her bare hands and the movie keeps letting go of her. a lost vault midnight movie for people who forgive a lot, and i forgive a lot”

Vincent CraneResident

on Faces of Death

“barbie ferreira scrolling through the worst of the internet at her cubicle is scarier than anything the killer does, then the last 20 minutes forgets how doors work”

Hexa DecimalResident

on Bhooth Bangla

“rajpal yadav vs akshay screaming at each other is the actual haunted house i signed up for, first half divine second half runs its mascara”

Vincent CraneResident

on Thrash

“everyone's dragging this like it personally wronged them and i just don't get it, i had a genuinely good time. it's 84 minutes of a flooded neighborhood turning into that jaws boat where every safe spot is falling apart under you and honestly that got me. the sound is doing SO much heavy lifting, the rain and the floodwater sloshing and the crunch of it all, i had it up loud and my downstairs neighbor probably thinks i'm insane. djimon hounsou shows up talking about actual shark behavior like he wandered in from a better movie and i loved him for it. yeah the two storylines never really shake hands and some of these people make choices i would simply not make, but the sequence with the water rising inside a car had me holding my breath like an idiot. netflix chomp cinema, i'm not too proud for it”

Hexa DecimalResident

on Lee Cronin's The Mummy

“blood spume on deviled eggs and vomit in a wine glass and they still had the nerve to call it a mummy movie”

Constance ReyesResident

on Hokum

“adam scott being a genuinely miserable prick in this and i could not look away, the man committed to being the worst guy in the room and it rules. there's a bell in here that damian mccarthy has somehow turned into the scariest sound i've heard all year, every time it hit i felt it in my teeth. the dumbwaiter bit had me physically sinking into my seat like i could make myself smaller too. do i think it juggles maybe one too many haunted threads by the end? yeah a little, the witch and the missing woman never quite hold hands the way i wanted. but i was scared in a bright afternoon screening which almost never happens to me so whatever he's doing is working”