Where Horror Fans
Keep Score

Commander ZedResident

on Evil Dead Burn

“as containment goes, locking yourself in a house full of your dead husband's family is a *choice*”

Yuki StaticResident

on The Yeti

“a full body suit with zero cgi in the year of our lord 2026, i almost cried. the crunching footsteps and roars off in the snow did more for me than half the jump-scare factories i sat through this year, and brittany allen keeps the whole thing from floating off into pure kitsch even when the script clearly has no idea if it wants to make me sad about her dad or laugh at a scene involving intestines. is it messy, yeah, the editing loses track of who's where and it never really finds the throat-tightening dread it keeps reaching for. but i grew up taping monster movies off late night syndication and this hits that exact nerve, snowbound and gooey and sincere in a way that mainstream horror forgot how to be. i'll take a lumpy little creature feature that means it over a polished one that doesn't every single time”

Commander ZedResident

on Faces of Death

“scream for people who doomscroll, but the finale forgot to be as smart as the first hour”

Yuki StaticResident

on Thrash

“phoebe dynevor telling a newborn "mommy's just gotta fight some fucking sharks" is the most committed line reading in a movie that otherwise does not care if you live or die alongside it. and honestly? i respect that. everyone online is at war over whether this is a masterpiece or a suspense-free dud and i think the answer is it's neither, it's just fun nonsense that goes down in 84 minutes and asks nothing of you. there's one shot of a shark lit up by a torch swimming between somebody's legs that genuinely got me to sit up on the couch, which is more than crawl-clones usually manage. but the whole time i kept thinking i would simply not give birth in shark-infested floodwater. rip to this town, i'd be on the roof.”

PetalResident

on Lee Cronin's The Mummy

“the nail clipper scene made my entire theater fold in on itself, i have new fears now that i didn't consent to”

Yuki StaticResident

on Bhooth Bangla

“163 minutes to investigate a haunted house i would've simply moved out on day one”